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Teenage Woes ...

So ... here it is ... our Donovan is 13 ... practically a man now. He's grown up so much just in the short time I've known him! Amazing how quickly 3+ years can pass. He went to his first school dance last weekend. He even danced with a girl. He didn't tell me he danced with a girl ... he only told his father! He knew that I would have drilled him with "What was she like?" ... "Is she a 'nice' girl?" ... "Did she try to kiss you?" ... "Did you try to kiss her?" ... "Where were your hands ... were they above her waist like they should have been?" You know typical mommy stuff! He helps out with Gabriel more than we ever expected. He likes to put him in and out of the car seat. Thank GOD ... my back is starting to hurt in my old age. We can count on him to keep an eye on Gabriel if need be. He doesn't mind Gabriel being in his room, but only if he is in there with him. Not a bad parenting job Russ and Brandy!!! Kudos for creating a fine young man!
Well ... on the flip side to all of this come the teenager woes. At some point I think that they just take their brain out of their head ... shake it around a bit ... kick it around the bedroom and then put it back in. I'm not sure why they do this however it is the best example I can come up with.
I also think that they walk around with cotton in their ears. Cotton that is so small that anyone past 25 can't see it, but I can tell you ... it is there.
Their sense of direction becomes distorted. A simple direction like "Go to the kitchen and grab a paper towel please." ... turns into him turning in circles (maybe he is lost in the living room) and then he'll head for the bedroom.... he then realizes that he is going the wrong way ... he'll stop dead in his tracks. He then sticks up his pointer finger ... kinda like to say "Ahh Haaa..." and then turn around. He comes back to us with this blank stare on his face. We look at him ... ever so concerned. He then says ... "What did you want me to do?" ... I will say that sometimes he will make it to the kitchen and forget what he needed to do. I think a few times he's actually had his hand on the paper towel. We're working on it.
They can't complete a thought without gazing into space. I wonder if teenagers have some type of sixth sense. Like they know when a lie isn't working out ... so they'll try to come up with a better story. They'll quickly go thru their Rolodex of lies and see if they can find one that works out better. Once they hit 13 ... "I don't know" and "I forgot" don't work as well as they used to. So they have to come up with something better. So far ... it isn't working.
They forget how big they are. I have seen my Gigantic teenager walk thru the hallway with his head down like a freight train at full speed. LOOK UP DONOVAN ... your baby brother is standing in the hallway! Once he does trample the baby ... he has to put on the breaks. Ever see a freight train try to E-BRAKE? Well ... come to my house at around 6a.m. on a Monday morning. It is a sight to see!
Feed me Seymour! When do they stop eating? HOLY MOLY. I remember coming home from school and wanting a snack ... but by the time dinner was here I would have a bowl ... maybe two. If it were up to my teens here is what he would eat ... Breakfast - 3 bowls of cereal. Snack. Lunch - 2 PBJ, chips, cookies, Fruit roll up, more chips and a soda. Snack. Dinner - 2 or 3 plates of whatever we are having. Bottomless pit ... whoa. I watch him eat and I think "yup ... there goes an extra jiggle on my hip". No lie ... he can knock out some food. I am scared to take him to a diary farm for fear that he'll attack the cows like a Wild Grizzly Bear!
The "Dear Headlight" Syndrome. I don't remember having this syndrome when I was growing up, but I'm sure that I've had it at some point or another. When darling hubby is scolding him for his actions (or lack of) ... this glaze comes over his eyes. This wide-eyed look of "My world is over" look comes over his face. It is almost like a tunnel, we can see straight into his brain if we looked hard enough. Sometimes darling hubby has to SNAP his fingers to bring him back from wherever it is that he went.
I have to go thru this 2 more times... I have an 8 yr old and a 1 yr old!
I could go on ... but I had best get some work done today.
Thank GOD I never did this to my parents as a kid! Whew ... they would have had me committed!

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