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The Government Made Me Cry

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How do I explain this to my children?

I am literally in tears right now.  Dinner conversation was intense tonight as I began plans to take over the bills for the house. I'll be honest, my full time job pays me under 40k per year.  My husband makes ALOT more than that. I'm looking at past statements ...  I can't breathe.  I don't make enough money to support my home.  Panic sets in and anxiety takes over.  I am not doing a very good job of hiding it my fear of our future.

I need to purchase foundation for some of my future makeup appointments and I made a choice to skip that and pay off the $200 water bill.  I have 2 gigs this weekend, which will support me buying new foundation ... but justifying buying foundation vs. paying off the mortgage.  Foundation loses.

Yoder tried to give me his CC to purchase the foundation.  Of course I turned it away.  He tried to hand it to me again ... and now I'm angry.  How can you remain so calm when we are in the situation we are in now?   What money we have left, we can only wonder how long this will last ...

Gabriel ... my 6 year old 1st grader ... gets up from the dinner table and gets his money jar.  He has been saving up his money for a special game that he wants to buy.  He had $6 in his jar. When he brought me the jar, he said "Mommy, I don't want to lose my house either. I don't need my game.  I want to keep my house. You can have my money."  I lost it.

Dear America, my patience is wearing thin.  When a hard working person ... who pays her taxes, who pays her bills, who obey's the law, who has family who have given EVERYTHING to support this country from a military standpoint ... has children who are afraid of losing their house ... what am I supposed to do?  

Meanwhile, on Capital Hill ... these lawmakers are making more laws to ensure that their Grandchildren have a full ride to college ... and they wrote them selves out of the "amazing" and "wonderful" new Health Care Act.  What about this new law scares all of them so much that they made themselves exempt from this law?  Why isn't this law good enough for them?

I'm moving to Antarctica.  At least I will die by my own terms.

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